y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
