He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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