I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
