How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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