youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
