My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
