thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
