HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize