Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
