I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
