what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
