she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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