This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
