...so i touched it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
