I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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