the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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