I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
