I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
