Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
