this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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