i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
