turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
