READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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