I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
