Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
