I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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