I'm really into asian looking animals
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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