First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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