East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I died a long time ago.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We got so high we made milksteak
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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