I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
