JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you win again, gameday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
