Well douche your snatch and let's go!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
