some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
