We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize