No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
