have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
