I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
try to milk me bitch
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
