so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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