What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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