I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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