I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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