I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize