You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
