I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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