This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
