I'm so fucking centered right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
