My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize