At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
