Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
