I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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