I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
