it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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