Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Alive.
So much puke
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
