Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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