Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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