I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
