i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
