Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
we're so committed to being not committed
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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