this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize