where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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