too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
