he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
