i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
